Too many guppies for too long?

Michael Marcotrigiano
New England Fancy Guppy Association

While I have been breeding show birds for 12 years, it's only been a little over a year that I've had show guppies. But from what I see observing my club members and other IFGA members, I think this article is something to think about.

Every hobby has the potential to become an obsession and every hobby can last too long. If you think your guppy breeding is getting out of control or perhaps it's time to quit because you've been at it too long, take the following quiz. If you can relate to more than half of the following statements it may be time find something different to do with your time. You've had too many guppies for too long …

 

when you no longer think it's embarrassing to have your spouse tell their best friend that you spend all your free time breeding guppies.

when the word "DELTA" brings to mind fish not airplanes.

when someone asks you how many eggs are in a can of brine shrimp and you know.

when you can bag fish with one hand

when you rush out to the Department of Motor Vehicles thinking that if you get there late someone might beat you to the "Veiltail" vanity plates

when your idea of a quiet evening at home changes from a bottle of fine wine and a movie to a treatment with dewormer and a 20% water change.

when you are so friendly with your aquarium supply store owner that you start going bowling together on Thursday nights.

when you can sex guppies in utero

when you can start a hose siphon using telekinetics.

when you can no longer stomach oatmeal for breakfast because it reminds you of microworm cultures

when you need a separate freezer for guppy food

when your septic system clogs with brine shrimp egg cases

when you spouse finally understands that a bowl show has nothing to do with Tupperware

when your angry spouse tells you that they would rather you have an extramarital affair than add one more ten gallon to the basement

when you buy a pallet of salmon starter

when you enter your fishroom with brown hair and exit with gray.

when you think its unfair that your HMO refuses to pay for Quick Cure

when you paint your house methylene blue

when you describe the shape of a veil as "kinda sexy"

when you try to auction off a pale of dirty filter floss as "conceptual art"

when you are so afraid to leave your guppies in someone else's care that you only take two-day vacations

when you spend those two day vacations at IFGA shows

when you hire a cleaning service to do your bathroom so you have time to suck mulm from your tanks

when your spouse comes to the door dressed in nothing but Saran wrap and you say "not tonight dear I need to set up a couple of two and a halves"

when you remove the Hemlock Society phone number from you Rolodex after doing an inventory of your fish medications

when you spend so much time in the basement its four months before you realize your spouse has left you

when your setup has become so automated you actually win the blue delta class two years after you pass away

when you remember telling a little boy named Stan that guppies would make him famous.